Ungendering Emotions

Ungendering Emotions

Introduction

Over the years, various researchers and scientists have conducted studies that have proven that significant gender differences in emotion expressions exist, with men showing lesser emotional expressivity (Chaplin, 2015). Women have shown greater emotional expressivity for positive emotions such as happiness and the internalizing of negative emotions such as anxiety and sadness. Men have a higher expressivity for emotions such as anger and aggression. However, even though women are more expressive of emotions, men and women have similar levels of physiological arousal. For instance, research has shown that men sow higher cortisol and blood pressure responses to emotionally arousing stressors (Chaplin et al., 2008). This can be interpreted to mean that men and women are emotionally aroused similarly, but men keep their emotions in while women tend to freely express their emotions.

Women show higher rates of clinical depression and anxiety disorders than men, which are disorders that arise from a high level of internalizing negative emotions such as guilt, sadness, and fear (Chaplin, 2015). Men, on the other hand, show higher levels of antisocial behavior and drug abuse compared to women, behaviors that involve the expression of anger and internalization of sadness and anxiety (Chaplin et al., 2008). All past research has focused on the expression of emotions, observed from the vocal, facial, and postural expressions by emotion observers. Even without a review of literature or research, it can be observed that girls tend to express higher levels of happiness and joy than boys, especially when around people. Emotions have been gendered or classified by many as either ‘male’ or ‘female’ based on these observations, resulting in the formation of stereotypes. The ungendering of emotions would make it easier for people to express their feelings and emotions without the fear of judgment. In this paper, the issue of gendered emotions is discussed, with a focus on what it would mean to ungender emotions and how the world would be without emotions being gendered.

Emotion Expressions and the Ungendering of Emotions

The controversial topic of gender and emotional expression is a discussion of the differences that are observable between men and women in how they express their emotions. Emotions have been gendered by researchers and the general public, resulting in the development of stereotypes. People from across the world have accepted western stereotypes that portray women as more emotional than men. Women are believed to experience and express emotions such as fear, happiness, disgust, and sadness more than men. The issue of gendered emotions has been explicitly discussed by Chemaly (2018) in her book, Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger. She discusses society has stereotyped emotional expression and how certain emotions are looked at as either belonging to men or women. As Chemaly (2018) explains, men usually associate experiencing anger with being powerful, while women associate anger with being powerless.

While growing up, people learn to treat or regard emotions such as anger as masculine or unfeminine. Society teaches girls that their anger is an imposition on other people, which results in girls or women being unlikeable for showing anger. They are taught that showing anger alienates them and puts off those that they want to attract. Anger is perceived as an emotion that makes a woman look ugly and unattractive (Chemaly, 2018). Even women who have to use anger for defense in dangerous situations are taught not to use it. Society trains girls to “fear, ignore, hide, and transform” anger rather than “acknowledge or manage” it (Chemaly, 2018). Men, on the other hand, are taught that masculinity and anger reinforce each other. While boys and men are taught that their anger needs to be controlled, anger is perceived as a strength, especially where it is utilized for purposes of leading, protecting, or defending.

When it comes to sadness and happiness, women and men tend to show differences in the levels of expressivity and feeling. While research in the past has shown that women have a higher likelihood of experiencing positive emotions such as happiness and joy, there is a possibility that differences exist in how men and women experience and handle these emotions, not whether they experience them or not (Deng et al., 2016). Studies on the human brain have shown that women utilize more brain areas containing mirror neurons than men when processing emotions (Derntl et al., 2010). These neurons allow people to experience the world from the perspective of those around them – trying to understand their intentions and actions (symbolic interactionism theory). This may explain why women may experience deeper sadness or more happiness than men.

Men and women are different in how they express and process emotions. While everyone feels emotions such as happiness and sadness, how men and women express it is different, which results in people gendering emotions based on which gender tends to express a particular emotion openly (Deng et al., 2016). Women express happiness and joy through hearty laughs and smiles, while men are more likely to giggle and spend little time laughing. This may explain why happiness and joy may be considered female emotions. Women are trained to control their anger while men will most probably fight or be rude, which explains why anger is looked at as a male emotion. Today, people are busy trying to manage their feelings and regulate the emotions of others. Rather than being expressive and honest about the negative effects of problems such as gender-based discrimination, women will use words that do not outright show anger or frustration. For instance, a woman will explain her exhaustion through words such as ‘I am always working’ or ‘I never have enough time’, and avoid saying ‘I am worn out as a result of bias and discrimination’.

Chemaly (2018) explains that women find themselves handling emotionally demanding jobs that require them to suppress negative emotions such as anger. As a result of gendered emotions, women are given jobs that require them to be accommodating, cheerful, patient, and flexible regardless of the circumstances. To achieve this, a woman has to suppress all negative emotions, which usually results in stress. Society feels that women are biologically built to be emotional, while men do not have feelings. Boys grow up knowing that masculinity means being stoic, strong, and not showing weakness or vulnerability, as vulnerability is seen as feminine. While boys are cut off from emotions such as fear, sadness, and empathy, girls are taught to portray these feelings while ignoring or minimizing feelings such as anger and aggression. As they become adults, boys feel that they cannot express feelings such as sadness without being looked at as weak, resulting in acting out, increased rates of violence, and increased rate of suicide (Chemaly, 2018). Even though such extremes will result from the inability of a man to express his feelings and be understood, society does not look at it that way. Rather than referring to ‘acting out’ as anger, it is labeled frustration or impatience. The real issue is not looked at since society is wired in a way that does not allow men to express emotions such as sadness and fear.

Gendered emotions and feelings cloud how society or people look at people and how they express themselves. People will look at a child differently because of its gender and gendered emotional understanding. For instance, a boy and a girl at infancy will be behaving similarly, but people will describe the baby boy as touchy, angry, or aggressive, while the baby girl will be described as needy or sad. A female child that is angry will be described as sad or depressed, while a male child who is sad will be described as angry. It is because of gendered emotions that people look at emotional expression differently. Being angry is associated with men and boys (masculine emotion) while being sad is associated with women and girls (feminized). Being angry shows that one can take control or change things; that they have seen a problem or challenge and are demanding for something to change. Being sad, however, implies that one has no control over what is happening; sadness is a retreat emotion. It is looked at as a sign of powerlessness and having a lot of empathy in it.

Everyone inevitably experiences negative emotions such as anger and sadness. People are sad when they lose their coworkers, people get angry when scolded at work, and people get angry when they are insulted. However, feeling emotions is different from expressing them. While one may think that they are allowed to express their feelings freely, one’s gender already predominates the emotions or feelings that they are ‘allowed’ to express. This is what is commonly referred to as gendering of emotions. In the workplace environment, research conducted by Brescoll and Uhlmann (2008) showed that people think that an angry woman is simply being emotional and acting out. People even believe that an angry woman is less likely to prosper in her career than an angry man, with some people saying that they would pay an angry female employee significantly less than an angry male employee (Brescoll & Uhlmann, 2008).

The fact that people look at men and women expressing similar emotions differently is not a coincidence. It happens because emotions are usually defined by their psychological aspects. Anger is interpreted as an image of strength, high social status, and competence. Sadness is interpreted as a sign of submissiveness, weakness, and low social status (Brescoll & Uhlmann, 2008). Society has furthermore feminized sadness and masculinized anger, a result of the gender role congruency theory, which states that males are dominant and tough while females are stereotypically submissive and weak. It is for these reasons that an angry woman is perceived as less favorable or likable because she is expressing an emotion that is attributed to men (gender-incongruent emotion). It is through the eyes of the gender role congruency theory that people in the workplace interpret the emotions expressed by their leaders and colleagues. While angry male leaders are more favorable than angry female leaders, sad female leaders are more favorable and have better relationships than sad male leaders.

The theory of self can also be used to discuss the gendering of emotions and feelings. The topic of ‘the self’ features primary in feminist philosophy discussions and is important when developing questions about identity, sociality, emotions, and the body. Many cultures and societies look at men as the subject and the male gender as absolute. The female gender is mostly looked at as ‘the other’ (Kinch, 1963). This view means that the female is perceived as non-subject, non-agent, and non-person. Cultural stereotypes, the law, and customary practice either diminish, subordinate, deny, or belittle the female selfhood. Women have been looked at as a reflection of men or as their opposite throughout history. In both views, women are diminished and looked at as subordinate to men. Since the female is portrayed as a lesser form of the male, the view of the self that has been popularized and adopted in the western culture gives power to the man while discriminating against women. Women are looked at as weak and emotional, while men are portrayed as dominant and strong. The popular view of the self that exists in western culture contributes to the gendering of emotions, making it difficult for men to express emotions such as sadness and women to express anger.

Gendered emotions can also be explained through the symbolic interactionism theory, which focuses on the relationships that exist among individuals in a society (Carter & Fuller, 2015). The theory looks at communication as the way by which people make sense or find meaning in the social world. The theory proposes that human beings interact with things based on the meanings that are ascribed to those things (Solomon, 2006). The ascribed meanings are derived from the interactions with other people in society and are interpreted differently when dealing with different circumstances. People love swimming because society taught them that swimming is good or important. Society looks at love as erotic or infused with desire and sex, which results in people looking at love as erotic rather than sacred or redemptive (Gilligan, 2003; Hooks, 2000). Similarly, people associate different emotions with different gender because society taught them that some emotions are feminine while others are masculine.

Conclusion

The gendering of emotions such as anger and sadness makes it difficult and unacceptable for people to express their feelings. Men who express sadness or empathy are looked at as weak. Women who express anger are looked at as unlikeable and emotional. Women who express anger and men who express sadness are often punished for their emotions, especially in the workplace. it is important that society recognizes the negative effects of gendering emotions and puts to ungender them. This would mean raising boys and girls in a similar way regarding how their emotions are interpreted and understood. Parents and society should avoid teaching children politeness or anger based on their gender. Children should be raised in a way that encourages them to express their full range of emotions, besides training them on how to control how they express them. They should learn to be considerate and kind to other people in a similar way.

Ungendering emotions would drastically reduce cases of suicide and violence against people, acts that are mostly committed by men. This may be attributed to bottling up of emotions such as guilt, sadness, and fear, which are looked at by society as feminine emotions or a sign of weakness and vulnerability. Society should learn not to teach boys that they have to be strong, unemotional, and stoic, telling them that they are not supposed to cry or be considerate. Girls need to be taught that it is okay to feel angry and that they should not be punished for being aggressive or assertive. Only this way will emotions be ungendered and society allow people to feel and express emotions freely without the fear of judgment or punishment.

References

Brescoll, V. L., & Uhlmann, E. L. (2008). Can an angry woman get ahead? Status conferral, gender, and expression of emotion in the workplace. Psychological Science, 19(3), 268-275.

Carter, M. J., & Fuller, C. (2015). Symbolic interactionism. Sociopedia. isa, 1, 1-17.

Chaplin, T. M. (2015). Gender and emotion expression: A developmental contextual perspective. Emotion Review, 7(1), 14-21.

Chaplin, T. M., Hong, K., Bergquist, K., & Sinha, R. (2008). Gender differences in response to emotional stress: an assessment across subjective, behavioral, and physiological domains and relations to alcohol craving. Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, 32(7), 1242-1250.

Chemaly, S. (2018). Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger. Simon and Schuster.

Deng, Y., Chang, L., Yang, M., Huo, M., & Zhou, R. (2016). Gender differences in emotional response: Inconsistency between experience and expressivity. PloS one, 11(6), e0158666.

Gilligan, C. (2003). The birth of pleasure: A new map of love. Vintage.

Hooks, B. (2000). All about love: New visions. New York: William Morrow.

Kinch, J. W. (1963). A formalized theory of the self-concept. American Journal of Sociology, 68(4), 481-486.

Solomon, R. C. (2006). About love: Reinventing romance for our times. Hackett Publishing.