USA: +1 508 290 1604 
Sign in
Should a woman take her husband’s last name after marrying him?
The popular ideology that a woman adopts her husband’s last name at marriage began in the ninth century doctrine of coverture and is firmly rooted in patriarchal marital traditions (Reid, 2018). In this doctrine, a woman did not have an independent legal identity apart from her husband. It is for this reason that women received their father’s last name at birth and received their husband’s last name at marriage. Receiving one’s husband’s last name gave more meaning to the phrase “giving away the bride”, implying that women were property transferred from father to husband (Darrisaw, 2018). The norm that a woman takes her husband’s surname is not only rooted in patriarchal societies but is also heterosexist. The expectation leaves same-sex marriages with no laid-out norms on surname choices. Even though it began several centuries ago, the norm remains durable despite the numerous legal and social changes that marriage has experienced over the years. There are many reasons why women adopting their husbands’ surname is still popular today.
The question of whether women should take their husbands’ surname at marriage has been on social media platforms and social discussions for many years. While a majority of people abide by the norm, there are those that believe that it is outdated and retrogressive (Miller & Willis, 2015). Studies conducted among brides show that educated and career-oriented women do not have a traditional gender ideology and are more likely to retain their own name or add their husband’s name to their name at marriage (Johnson & Scheuble, 1995; Hoffnung, 2006). Despite these findings, a majority of brides today still adopt their husband’s last name at marriage. There is, however, a substantial decline in the number of women changing their names at marriage. According to Miller and Willis (2015), approximately thirty percent of married women in America either do not change their surnames or combine their names with their husbands’ surname. This may be attributed to changing cultural attitudes towards traditions and gender.
There are concerns that when a woman refuses to adopt her husband’s last name, the man is disempowered or less masculine (Steingold, 2017). In addition, there are notions or believes that such married men have less power and authority in the marriage (Steingold, 2017). While feminists argue that the prevalence of the expectation that women take their husbands’ surname shows sexism and patriarchy, many women strongly believe in the tradition and see it as an honor or a symbol of respect and love (Samelson, 2017). Some women wish to keep their names after marriage for purposes of retaining their business names or reputation. However, it is important that women recognize the valid reasons that men have for wanting them to take their names after marriage. These reasons may be more than just masculinity or insecurity. Men may wonder if a woman’s hesitance to adopt their surname is a sign of a lack of commitment to marriage or unwillingness to future changes.
In conclusion, the question of whether women should adopt their husbands’ last name after marriage does not have a single correct response. It all depends on the individuals getting married and how they feel about the issue. While a woman may want to keep her name unchanged because of an existing reputation and career, her husband may wonder if she respects him or loves him if she refuses to adopt his surname. Husbands and wives should have an open discussion to understand each other and eliminate any conflict on surnames. There are valid reasons why women adopt their husbands’ surname. However, there are also valid reasons why some women may be against the tradition.
References
Darrisaw M. (2018). “16 Common Wedding Traditions—And The Shocking History Behind Them.” Southern Living. Retrieved October 23, 2019, from https://www.southernliving.com/weddings/history-wedding-traditions
Hoffnung M. (2006). “What’s In a Name? Marital Name Choice Revisited.” Sex Roles 55:817-825.
Johnson D. R., & Scheuble L. K. (1995). “Women’s Marital Naming in Two Generations: A National Study.” Journal of Marriage and Family, 57(3):724-732.
Miller C. C., & Willis D. (2015). “Maiden names, on the rise again.” The New York Times. Retrieved October 23, 2019, from https://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/28/upshot/maiden-names-on-the-rise-again.html
Reid, S. (2018). “The History Behind Maiden Vs. Married Names.” Seattle Bride. Retrieved October 23, 2019, from https://seattlebridemag.com/expert-wedding-advice/history-behind-maiden-vs-married-names
Samelson, C. (2017, December 11). Should Women Take Their Husband’s Last Name? Retrieved October 23, 2019, from https://www.intellectualtakeout.org/article/should-women-take-their-husbands-last-name.
Steingold, D. (2017, November 29). Men Viewed As More Feminine, Lacking Pants When Wives Keep Last Name, Study Finds. Retrieved October 23, 2019, from https://www.studyfinds.org/last-name-marriage-masculinity/.
