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QUESTION
Think about one of your most important relationships.
- In what ways do you listen well to each other?
- Which faulty listening behaviors do you find most annoying?
- What would the other person say about your most annoying listening faults?
- In what ways would you like to improve your listening skills with that person?
- How do you think improved listening would affect the relationship?
ANSWER
Relationships and Listening Behaviors
According to Kelly (2021), there are many relationship types arising in all shapes and forms. One of my most important relationships is the family relationship, specifically the sisterly bond.
Although I am not a great listener in conversations with my sister due to the sisterhood tussle, we try to listen to each other on serious occasions. Studies have shown that active listening benefits the listener as they get more information while the one speaking feels valued, reducing misinterpretation and conflicts. When having a serious conversation with my sister, we take turns while avoiding talking over each other. This means we do not interrupt when the other person is speaking. Jones, Bodie, and Hughes (2019) note that talking over someone gives the impression that you don’t value what they are saying, which can sometimes be frustrating. As opposed to when we have little arguments, when one of us has to share something, we do not judge each as we have established a culture of listening without judging to encourage future communication and sharing.
I find some faulty listening behaviors, like faking attention and criticizing the speaker, most annoying as they show how the listener is selfish and self-centered. At the same time, I don’t particularly appreciate interrupting listeners, who lose their title as listeners as soon as they barge in without asking if they could.
My most annoying listening fault used to be interrupting the other person when they were speaking. I would say the other person is my sister, and her response would be; I can be frustrating to communicate with most of the time. At the same time, I may fake attention when she is talking if I am tired. About faking attention, she would use “self-centeredness” as the best word to describe this annoying listening fault.
To improve my listening skills, I intend to stay alert so as not to fake attention and take note of nonverbal signs such as body language, tone, and gestures, which will show concern and respect for what the other person is saying. Additionally, I will consider making a mental image of what the other person is saying to reduce boredom caused by lengthy conversations.
Improved listening will promote feelings of love, trust, acknowledgment, and understanding. It shows that the other person understands your current situation and is willing to resonate with you. It can also eliminate chances of conflict, resentment, and negative emotions arising from disagreements of opinion or common interests.
References
Jones, S. M., Bodie, G. D., &Hughes, S. D. (2019). The Impact Of Mindfulness On Empathy, Active Listening, And Perceived Provisions Of Emotional Support. Communication Research, 46(6), 838-865.
Kelley, H. H. (2021). Personal Relationships: Their Nature And Significance. In The Emerging Field Of Personal Relationships (pp. 3-19). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781003164005
