Partnership, Reproduction, and Identities

QUESTION

Please post your contribution to this module’s discussion by replying to each of the three prompt threads. The prompts are:

• Virginity and asexuality: After reading Medley-Rath and Scherrer and Pfeffer, answer at least one of the following clusters of questions.

○ How did you react to the first paragraph of Scherrer and Pfeffer before realizing it was tongue-in-cheek?

○ As Scherrer and Pfeffer allude to, Several diagnoses in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) related to gender and sexuality are contingent on a) a

non-normative experience and b) personal distress. Do you think this makes sense? Can you think of any instances where this would not be a practical approach?

○ Do you agree with Medley-Rath that “one’s virginity status is an important part of [their] identity”? Does this differ based on gender?

○ How would you define virginity and what do you think counts as sex? Do your definitions conform with what you were taught?

• Queer and heterosexual partnerships: After reading Pedulla and Thébaud and Nair, answer one of the following clusters of questions.

○ If you have children, or have (had) a spouse or live-in partner, how have you negotiated household responsibilities? Have institutional policies at work or school constrained your plans or opportunities? Have you had to change your plans or temper your ambitions in terms of parenthood, relationships, career, or education? Or: have you witnessed anything like this among your family or friends?

○ Were you surprised to read Nair’s critique (first published in 2010) of the U.S. gay rights movement’s focus on marriage rights? Why? Do her critiques make sense to you?

• !Kung marriage and sexuality: !Kung traditions regarding sex and marriage are very different from “Western” and many other traditions. After reading the assigned excerpts from Shostak’s book, answer the following questions.

○ What surprised you most about Shostak and Nisa’s descriptions? Did any particular practices distress or disturb you? Did any of them strike you as a good idea or remind you of parallel practices in your own culture(s)?

ANSWER

Partnership, Reproduction, and Identities

Virginity and asexuality: How would you define virginity and what do you think counts as sex? Do your definitions conform with what you were taught?

To me, virginity is an individual’s state of not having engaged in any sexual activities in the past. It is the state of never having engaged in sexual intercourse. Many cultural and religious beliefs and traditions place a lot of value and significance on the state of being a virgin, especially for female individuals. Virginity is often associated with value or worth, purity, and honor. Engaging in sex refers to being involved in sexual intercourse – the act of a man having sex with a woman. This definition, however, does not conform to what I have learned about sex and its definition (Medley-Rath, 2007), especially with same-sex relationships.

References

Medley-Rath, S. R. (2007). “Am I still a virgin?”: What counts as sex in 20 years of Seventeen. Sexuality and Culture, 11(2), 24-38.

Queer and heterosexual partnerships: If you have children, or have (had) a spouse or live-in partner, how have you negotiated household responsibilities? Have institutional policies at work or school constrained your plans or opportunities? Have you had to change your plans or temper your ambitions in terms of parenthood, relationships, career, or education? Or: have you witnessed anything like this among your family or friends?

While living with a partner, or even some of my friends, I have had to negotiate household responsibilities from time to time. Responsibilities such as cooking and cleaning are assigned to female individuals while responsibilities requiring more energy or effort, such as mowing and doing repairs were assigned to the male individuals. I have not yet come across institutional policies that have constrained my opportunities or plans, either at work or at school. However, a friend of mine once told me that she had been denied a promotion in her workplace for being female. The organization favored men as a result of stereotypes, which is common in many organizations and institutions (Pedulla & Thébaud, 2015), rendering her stuck in her present role.

References

Pedulla, D. S., & Thébaud, S. (2015). Can we finish the revolution? Gender, work-family ideals, and institutional constraint. American sociological review, 80(1), 116-139.

!Kung marriage and sexuality: What surprised you most about Shostak and Nisa’s descriptions? Did any particular practices distress or disturb you? Did any of them strike you as a good idea or remind you of parallel practices in your own culture(s)?

What surprised me most was the description of childbirth by Nisa. Giving birth alone in the bush is quite shocking and risky. The fact that this was the way of life or the culture of the tribe disturbs me, as it seems quite horrifying and risky for mothers. Nisa also leaves her newborn in the bush and runs off, after giving birth (Shostak, 2014). This act seems quite irresponsible and horrible, especially to people like me who are used to hearing of child endangerment laws. The practices of the community strike me as irresponsible, primitive, and bad. There are no similar or parallel practices in my culture.

References

Shostak, M. (2014). Nisa: The life and words of a! Kung woman. Routledge.